Archive 'UW in English'


Next morning

Juhani Smura
In UW in English
18Dec 11

I would like to repeat the old saying that if it does not kill you it’ll make you stronger. After being so close to dead I should be stronger than ever, but even waking up and climbing down from the recycle container felt impossible. Yesterday’s operation had been a failure like my entry to disco at the age of 18. Our troops were badly overrun and everyone had to save one’s own skin.
 
Recycle centres are good places to survive, collect some spare parts, batteries and other energy like food, perhaps some insipid alcohol. As I collected interesting material an old woman came near. She thought that I had conquered her catch and she started to hit me with her bag. I was too weak to resist her but luckily I was able to launch my electronic gun against her. As she fell on the ground I grabbed some more stuff.
 
I took a long walk and after sun went down I was finally able to reach my shelter and there he was waiting for me. Jack Haltia can take a form of the crow but now he was just sitting there in his tuxedo.
- “How’s the Anarchy?”. He asked and smiled while watching my mutilated body. Jack could never understand the true nature of our movement . He was too conservative.
- “Is that your natural skin color?”. He continued. Some people just don’t know when to shut up.
-” We could not get the yellow tape”, I answered to him. I knew how much that tape meant to him. After a long moment of silence he raised and and walked to the door.
-”Listen to me. I’m very disappointed to you and I’ll have to cancel our agreement”, he whispered at the door and shut it behind.
- “Finally I am free!” I shouted after him.
 
As my ancestors rested after combat at the heat of the sauna, I was no afforded for that luxury. The steam would just break my electronics and the heat would dissolve my biochemical mucous membrane and I could not pay for another surgery for next few months. My left hand was damaged and I started to fix it up with tools and spare parts I found from recycle centre. I’m not an electrician but I did quite fine with electronics, but when I tried to program more intelligence to my muscles, I was able to create just something close to ventricular fibrillation. I went to toilet for urine and it ended to terrible mess. I fell asleep.



It was a cold morning in Jyväskylä. Even the peripatetic “Father Christmases” of the Central Park were hiding in their shelters curled up in aluminium foil before sun and methanol would melt them up. I checked my shadowy reflection from the mirror before entering the streets, where no one is safe. Call me narcissistic, but I look cool.curled up in aluminium foil

 
I opened the door and walked few minutes before arriving to the University area. As I looked down to the stairs from Physics’ department I could here the yesterday banging my head, or was it just the quarks from the department’s particle accelerator. I saw there was a jig competition on the Lake Jyväsjärvi. I recognized my old teacher there. He had caught some fish, but as I walked by a guy next to him captured a trout. I felt sorry for my teacher; because he saw the trout and knew he was doomed. He would not win kick sled this year as did not do in so many previous years either.

 
I was supposed to meet my contact at the church to get more detailed information. Our signal was to smooch three times. It was he’s idea – he likes boys. I have no abhorrence for him, but it was the smell which reminded saltwater taffy or bitter honey. And even that minty freshness sweets cause me flatulence, I had to take one to be able to smooch with him. After identification he whispered me: Try to avoid road or any places where we are in danger to be hit by cars. Cars, those greasy beasts, weasels of the modern age kill more people than tuberculoses.
Call me narcissistic, but I look cool
 
I kept moving which is the lifeline of urban warrior. As I walked by the dusty, empty streets of Jyväskylä my nose kept on bleeding. Dust crunched between my teeth and every inhale caused me pain. Well that’s why the painkillers are for. I stop to take my morning drink. It was too early for sherry but it is never too early for Vodka, which God invented because he did not want Russians to rule the World. As I got relief to my pain I started to look more around. I wanted to take some pictures, but I could not jeopardize the mission. Police has risen it’s surveillance after our igloo party last February.
 
I changed to park. Perhaps some of the smell captured on me from my contact because as I walked by youngsters behaved like I was smelling like incontinent drunk, who I actually, was but at the moment I was using adult diapers. Well I was not bothered because I found a suitable track. We should just hide in the bushes from the sight of the indecent eyes. Mission was soon to be accomplished and I could head to bar home.


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